You’ve waited a whole 9 months for your tiny bundle to arrive. The Hospital bag has been packed, unpacked and then re packed 10 times. You have washed every item of clothing and its all been neatly folded away into pristine polished drawers. So where the heck are they?!
Due dates been and gone and there are none of these mythical “signs” people speak of. Then there is that word “twinge” that keeps getting thrown around for fun! I mean, a twinge? What is even is that? Seems to me that its a made up word sent to annoy the hell out pregnant ladies on the verge of exploding with rage!
Maybe a gentle walk will help you think? It gets you out the house you are already sick of being stuck in and hopefully a little waddle will wiggle the wee one right out. Right?
Wrong. Your swollen feet and balloon legs don’t carry you very far before well meaning passers by start offering advice. “ I tried (insert crazy method of choice) and the baby came that night!” Well thanks very much Janice from number 33 but I don’t fancy eating a Pineapple curry whilst my boyfriend cringes at the thought of “doing it.” Face purple and ears steaming you shuffle back home, climb into the only comfy clothes you own and curl up in bed.
Just as you start to doze off (which is something that hasn’t happened for what seems like an entire pregnancy,) your phone buzzes! And nope its not your baby saying he will arrive tonight either!
Instead, It’s a friend, a very lovely friend who has called to see how you doing. Bless her heart! What would you do without her!? ….But hang on! Why is she being so irritating? Why is everyone making you angry? Why does your wonderful friend asking “Have you lost your plug yet?” seem to make you want to bite her hard, on the forehead!!! Welcome to “overdue anger” Mummy.
After seeing several more texts on your phone from family and friends saying “Haven’t you had that baby yet” you concoct a sarcastic response…… “ yeah I had him last week and just decided to keep the biggest news OF MY LIFE a secret!” Except of course you don’t send the message as you know deep down they really love you and you would be devastated if NO ONE text or called you but it still feels good just to know that you ALMOST sent it.
After perking up abit and re loving your friends your Mum walks in to you doing the washing up. “OMG your nesting” she shrieks and just like that, you cry!! Big angry tears! Perhaps there is a little bit of snot involved as you scream “ but ive washed up for 20 bloody years! I AM NOT NESTING”
“Awww” says Mum “He will come when he’s ready” Which of course is very true, its just that you’ve heard it approximately 10,000 times since you were 8 months pregnant and think if you have to hear it again you might go boil your own head!
Just then your boyfriend comes home from work and says that “Gary from work, well his misses was due before you and shes already had her baby! Looks like you might need to be induced love and apparently that hurts more. Don’t know if il be able to watch that, sounds awful!” ARE YOU TWATING KIDDING ME!!? Not one bit of that sentence helped! The crying starts again, as does some minor stomach ache……
Fast forward a year and you can now look back on those overdue days with a smile. You laugh at how psycho you probably seemed and sob a little bit wishing you enjoyed being overdue as curled up in bed with pyjamas on sounds like a luxury break compared to this parenting game.
So to all the overdue ladies out there, hang on in there and remember those family and friends adore you and will be your life savers for the next 10 years! Its fine to be angry, its more than fine to be frustrated and want to kick people in the shins, all that will be a distant memory once you hold your baby!
Love, Kathryn, A Mum Like Me xxx
PS. Don’t actually kick anyone in the shins please!