- Please don’t fall over I can’t be arsed to wash your pants on a Tuesday.
- I wonder if my boss would pay me in School Jumpers, it would be more useful than actual coinage. Black marker pen is my enemy!
- Do all children brush their teeth in the car when they are late?
- I’m going to change where I park today to add excitement to my day. Living the dream.
- She cant be pregnant again! Is she mad?
- We are going to be later than late.
- How late do you have to be before they call in social services?
- No you can’t just have Pepperami and cereal bits for your lunch.
- Actually, yes you can, that’s all we have left.
- S**t there’s a kid wearing fluffy ears and spotty leggings. Is it dress as your pet day?
- What do you mean you need a poo? Can you hold it?
- Whats that smell?
- Who are all these parents on their way back to the car already? Tell me your secret!
- No one knows I’m wearing my pyjama top under my coat. Feeling so smug!
- Assembly? Today? (zips coat up further to avoid pink panda pjs poking through.) Crap! Il have to pretend I’m freezing now.
- Il bypass make up today and go with Sunglasses. Cool and funky mum coming through!
- Snow!? But its March?! Wannabe mum in glasses coming through!
- “Ooohh what a lovely piece of art work”…….Another milk carton covered in glitter to add to my collection. FYI, The collection is kept in the recycling bin.
- We can tell how late we are judging by the people we see. Man who always wears shorts crossing the road with huge dog = we are ok. Lady frantically running with a child lunch box items flying all over = Late! Very late!
- Yessss, they are gone! Victory dance back to the car.
Sometimes on occasion we do manage surprisingly well. When we do it’s usually because I have followed some little tricks I’ve picked up.
- No one goes downstairs until they are dressed. This saves me a huge amount of time and mess.
- I slide kids shoes on whilst they are eating breakfast. Leo gets his put on in his highchair and I distract Henry with idle chit chat whilst I slip his on.
- We get everything ready the night before. Packed lunches, school clothes laid out, homework by the door. It works a treat.
Love, Kathryn, A Mum Like Me xxx